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I went for my annual physical a couple of months ago. Generally that is a non-remarkable event. I’ve been blessed with good health and do my best to exercise, eat right, get enough rest and reduce stress. So it feels really weird today to sit on the other side of two rites of mid-life passage: a breast cancer scare (luckily additional mammograms proved that false); and a bone scan showing that I’m in the early stages of osteoporosis. I mean come on, I’m barely pushing 46! When I watch Sally Field talking about bone loss and Boniva on TV, I don’t think that she’s actually talking to ME.

One of my clients also had a breast cancer scare recently (luckily a false alarm for her too). Other’s are sick and tired of the bullsh*t they have to deal with everyday at their jobs: highly political and toxic workplaces; long hours without promotions or pay increases; the now chronic threat of being laid off; and the constant changes in organization structure and “strategy” (really knee-jerk and fear-based reactions to a soft economy) that leave people and their jobs in a non-productive and draining state of never-ending chaos.

Not surprisingly, coaching sessions of late have taken on a bit of a common theme: I am not going to live forever after all. So is this job really worth what it’s costing me? And what are my options?

I’ve actually come to appreciate over the past two months my body’s reminders that time is flying by. It is so easy for us to forget (especially us High Potentials and High Achievers) that we actually don’t have forever left on our time clock. We get sucked into our busy-crazy lives and the “real” world of our corporate jobs. And we forget that how that simple fact of our own mortality can actually help us break free to create more of the work/life we really want.

The implications are tremendous for organizations who need — more than ever — top-notch talent to survive and thrive. Whatever the broader economic news might say for now, the opportunity for leaders and professionals to grow their careers and even get their life back has never been better. All you need is to take back control of your own destiny.

Since I was a kid, I have been obsessed with the spiritual dimension of human life – who are we?  Why are we here?  What is Divine and how do we find it?  I was raised Roman Catholic and attended Catholic schools from grade school through college.  But thanks in large part to the Jesuits who taught me during my four years at Loyola University of New Orleans, my mind opened up to learn about many other spiritual traditions as well.

In particular, I’ve found tremendous value in the beliefs and practices of Zen Buddhism.  Not as a replacement “religion” for Catholicism or any other “ism” –  but rather as very practical and simple wisdom for how to lead a successful human life.  I’ve been meditating since my mid-twenties, when I took my first meditation/yoga class to help me deal with the stress of graduate school.  Since then I’ve: invested regularly in many more classes/training/retreats; read more books than I can count on Buddhism and mindfulness; and am part of a Buddhist here in my home town.

I tell you all this because, if you become a regular reader of this blog, you’re going to hear me talk about mindfulness A LOT.  Mindfulness is awareness – a very powerful form of awareness that comes from being fully present to the moments of your work and life.  (While meditation is just one technique to get you there, mindfulness is the end game.)  In terms of business/work/career, mindfulness helps you to see clearly what is present and to know with certainty what choice to make or action to take.  In terms of life, mindfulness is the best way I’ve found to live deeply and happy, every moment.  The path of mindfulness has been my route to professional success and work/life balance.  There is no bigger, better gift I could hope to share with you.

Seven years ago, at the time of my work/life breakdown the only coping strategy I had was to try to do more, do it faster, and more efficiently. Until I tried something else.

I tried an experiment.  I gave myself the one break I thought I could manage – 30 minutes for a quiet cup of coffee at a Starbucks, early on a Sunday morning.  I took a book, just planning to read and unwind a bit.  Nearly an hour later, I hadn’t read a page.  I found myself sitting there, reflecting on my life.  Surprisingly I wasn’t worrying or freaking out or feeling overwhelmed.  I was just thinking about what was going on and what I wanted, going forward.

I started to look ahead to the week to come and think about what I could try to do a little differently.  I realized that, as crazy and stressful as things had been across the past weeks and months, that things actually were a bit calmer in this present moment.  And that I had  (in the coming weeks) a window or two of opportunity to deal with some outstanding issues, and to get out ahead of some things.  But I literally hadn’t seen those windows — until this very moment — because I’d been too worried, afraid and stressed out to notice them.

I had a physical sense of relief when I walked out of Starbucks that morning.  And my week that followed was the calmest, most productive and most energized week I had had in many, many months.  Not perfect, but noticeably better.

So I found it a bit easier to grant the self-permission I needed to make another Starbucks date with myself, the following Sunday.  I kept making those dates, for many Sundays after that.  Over time, I found it easier to carve out even more time for me — to rest, recharge, refocus and re-engage my best self — because I saw living proof of how it made me mentally sharper, emotionally happier and physically more energized to deal with my crazy-busy life.

Especially for the mothers who may be reading this posting, I need to add one last piece of this story.  I turned off my phone and did not even bring my laptop for that time at Starbucks.  I completely unplugged for a little quiet time for me.  And nobody died, literally.  I took a small chance, a calculated risk that I wouldn’t be there for two of the people I loved most when they needed me.  Not only was I there to say goodbye to my dad when his time came, but my daughter is now a thriving and confident 22-year-old, college senior.  Just as important, I’m still here too and doing more than well – the proof in the pudding.

I’ve learned a lot about my own thinking processes, the mechanics of the brain, and the wisdom of  most ancient spiritual traditions when it comes to rest and play.  I know there’s so much more that’s possible and needed in terms of work/life balance in our 24/7, global world.  Bottom line — mindfulness is a big part of the story I have left to tell.

About 3 years after my wedding – there is no other way to put this — all hell broke loose.  On the upside, our leadership coaching and training business was booming.  We were growing in staff, clients and revenue every year.  On the down side, I was full-throttle back into over-work mode:  travelling constantly to work with clients, co-authoring a book, and trying to co-lead a firm while realizing that my business partner and I had fundamentally different strategies and approaches.   My work — once a source of fun and fulfillment — was a now place of growing conflict and stress.

On a personal note, my husband’s company came within a hair’s breadth of laying him off, three different times within an 18 month period.  My father was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.  And my husband and I were struggling to address and heal my younger daughter’s life-threatening depression.

I was working like a mad woman, day and night, and on the road constantly for business and to help care for my father down in Atlanta.  My nights and weekends were filled with parenting and household responsibilities.  As a result, I was so consumed by my list of to-do’s, and my fears of forgetting something or dropping the ball on something (or someone) important, that I literally never took a break.  I was running on fumes for the second time in my life, with little sleep, no exercise, and almost non-existent play time with friends or quiet time alone with myself.

Long story short, the breakdowns started fast and furious – in my business partnership, my personal relationships, my own health, and in my ability to focus mentally and sustain the energy physically required to deal with everything on my plate.  Bottom line, my attempt to take care of everyone but me completely backfired; the world I carried on my shoulders was literally more than I could control, or even multi-task my way through.

While the circumstances around my lack of balance were different this time, I began to realize that the constant in this equation was me.  I knew something had to change, and the only thing I had control over was truly my own choices and actions.  (I certainly couldn’t control my dad’s cancer, nor my daughter’s depression, and clearly not my business partner.)   I could keep falling apart or I could do this differently — not only for my own health and happiness, but so I could be there for the ones I loved the most.  So I did the only thing I knew to do…

Toward the end of 1999, my employer The Coca-Cola Company held layoffs for the first time in the company’s 100+ year history.  At the time, my career was flying high.  I was part of an internal, elite group of executive coaches and consultants doing cutting edge work – using organizational learning to create competitive advantage in the marketplace.  I was increasingly being sent to work with senior executives overseas on the business, and receiving top reviews from my bosses and my customers alike.  And then, suddenly, the gig was up.

The CEO at the time was ousted – bad for him and bad for me.  My department had been created as one of his key strategic initiatives and, despite our many successes, the new CEO wanted nothing to do with us.  We were all out of a job, literally.  I learned a really important lesson then about the new reality of work and jobs in the 21st century:  no matter how good you are or how well you perform, no job is guaranteed. All work is in fact project work.

Luckily I had been working with an executive coach for the better part of a year, to get clear on what I truly wanted in my life and my career.  So I literally took the severance money and ran. I headed toward the 3 things I knew for sure:  a) I wanted to take a six-month sabbatical to recharge my mind, body and spirit; b) I wanted to start my own business; and c) I wanted to get married and have a family.

Fast forward eighteen months – I’m in a wedding dress, standing in a beautiful, old building on the campus of the University of Michigan.  My husband Kevin and my two, wonderful new stepdaughters are hugging me.  My best friend and now business partner is smiling in the front row.  And I’m fit, relaxed, rested and healthy after my six-month sabbatical (which is how/when/where my new business and my new husband showed up in my life).

I was truly out of the pan, jumping into the fire – the fire of self-employment, marriage, and parenthood. It was a blaze that felt good, warm and fully alive.  I was charged up and ready for whatever work and life would bring.  Did I mention to be careful what you wish for??

My story begins much like every other, Type-A personality’s story.  A perennial straight A student and over-achiever, by the time I was 24 I had my master’s from an Ivy League school and launched my career.  Like many of you, I eventually became a corporate HIPO (high-potential leader) targeted for advancement and future leadership roles.  Working inside of global companies like The Coca-Cola Company and Ernst & Young (Big 4 consulting), I spent 12 years climbing the corporate ladder.  I never said “no” to an opportunity – at Coca-Cola alone, I had 3 major promotions in 3 years.  I worked my tail off, including many nights and weekends, travelled constantly and seldom took more than a week of vacation a year.  The work was fascinating and the professional and financial rewards were great.  I had wonderful colleagues and I was challenged intellectually and learning and growing, every day.

But the picture was far from perfect.  After years of working this way, I was often sick and physically exhausted.  I was also really lonely.  I had had little time for dating and for friendships outside of work.  As seductive and rewarding as my career was, it wasn’t fulfilling me as a person and as a woman.  I wanted a husband, home and a family.  I also started having dreams of running my own business, and working/living from a more balanced and sustainable rhythm.

Be careful what you wish for….