LeadWorkPlay

Here’s how most of us work – we are constantly ON. Period, end of story.

We are constantly on-line and on our cells.  We seldom take vacations and even then we check email and voice mail.  We use our weekends to “catch up” on family time, household chores and yes, to do more work.  Even when we try to sleep, work thoughts are running rampant through our brains.  So it doesn’t really matter whether we left the office at 5 p.m. or midnight — we are mentally on-call for work any time day or night.  We never turn it off.  Why does that matter?  Because:

THIS IS THE REASON MANY OF US DON’T REALLY LIVE.
THIS IS THE REASON WE DON’T REALLY ENJOY OUR LIVES.

Despite our best intentions (to paraphrase Deepak Chopra) we turn ourselves into machine-like “human doings” and leave on the table the many joys of “human beings”.  We literally miss the happiness that is available to us, in any given moment – because we are constantly chasing after what’s next or worried about what might be.

In my previous post, I gave a definition of capacity that is actually not the number one definition (aka, in the order listed in the dictionary).  The #1 definition of capacity is the ability to receive or contain.  So here I am talking about the importance of expanding our ability to receive and contain happiness – our own very personal experience of fun, laughter, peace, hope, faith and love.  On a very practical level, this looks like regularly practicing our ability to play.

There is solid business sense for this – play is the brain’s mechanism for creativity and innovation.  (A company with no room for play will not evolve its products/services and eventually fall behind its competitors in the rapidly changing, global marketplace.)  In the Information Age and with the rise of the Knowledge/Creative Worker, the winners will be the companies who proactively invest in their employees’ ability to play, innovate and create.  (One company comes to mind here that you might have heard of — Google.)  More on this topic later.

But for now, I don’t want to take away from my bigger message here: success without play, without happiness in your life every day, is no success at all.

The good news is that you don’t have to leave your job to find it (while at times you may feel like you’d be crazy NOT to leave it, if you could). I find that is rarely necessary and truly a place of last resort.  Leadership coaching is a powerful process and support to help you live more of the life you want and still have the career you’ve worked so hard to build.

I heard once that the definition of “capacity” literally refers to one’s ability to do work.  Dictionary.com defines capacity a bit more broadly, as the actual or potential ability to perform, yield or withstand.  Given the crazy-busy, 24/7 world leaders operate in today, that second definition is worth thinking about.  Is your capacity as a leader–to perform, yield and withstand–growing? Shrinking?  Or sitting at rock-bottom?

If you’re like 95% of the leaders I see, you are probably somewhere between shrinking and rock-bottom.  From my recently published article on mindfulness and leadership in the December 2009 issue of the Neuroleadership Journal: “Across the globe, people today deal with a veritable tsunami of chronic high-stress, increasing complexity, information and communication overload, rapidly evolving technologies, and a hyper-competitive, 24/7 work world.  As a result, leaders are trying to achieve more with less, primarily by defaulting to various forms of multi-tasking and hoping that technology (from their ever-present Blackberries to their Outlook email and calendar) will save them.  These tools will only take leaders so far; what is really required is a fundamental re-thinking of how leaders value and use their capacity.”

Because global business is driven by technology, which is in turn driven by ideas and innovation, there is no more important business resource any of us have today than our own brains.  In fact, most of you reading this blog were hired and advanced in your career because of what you can do with your brains, not what you can with your hands.  (In the heyday of the Industrial Age, that would have been a very different story.)

Yet, there is nothing that most of us take for granted, neglect and abuse more than the care and feeding of our own brain.  Contrary to popular belief, neuroscience is showing us just how delicate brain matter is and how incredibly energy-intensive it is to run.  Literally in terms of brain functioning, no human being can perform at their best 24/7.  It is physiologically impossible. Yet, most of us are trying to do just that – because our jobs, our families and the world today now require us to be on top of our game, every day.

Whether you call it by the name of “work/life balance” or “energy management”, your brain requires that you learn to take some regular time-off-the-clock.  In our work-addicted society, it can be challenging to do that on your own.  Leadership coaching can make the difference between breaking through to a new level of self-care you can sustain …or breaking down because engrained habits keep pulling you back.

So why would YOU ever want or need leadership coaching?   First, because of who you are. If you are reading this blog, you already deeply care about your professional success and personal growth.  And second, because to achieve the kind of growth and success you know you are capable of, you know that you have to invest in yourself.

More than ever, you cannot rely on your boss or your company to develop you.  While you can ask for their help and support (including making a financial investment in your coaching program) at the end of the day you are the one who must manage your own your career. Growing your skills (capabilities) to lead is the obvious place to start.

Leadership is not just a job, it is a profession that requires certain abilities, both obvious (e.g., to set strategic direction for a team) and subtle (e.g., how to convey a tough message with realism and optimism, so employees don’t disengage).  I’m really talking about much more here than learning a few techniques about how to make a presentation, or just smoothing out your rough edges.

According to Charan, Drotter and Noel’s seminal The Leadership Pipeline, “at least 50 percent of the people in leadership positions are operating far below their assigned layer.  They have the potential to be leaders, but that potential is going unfulfilled.”   The reason why? Once you move from being an Individual Contributor into your first role as Manager (and at EACH new level of leadership beyond) the authors’ research shows that you must continually “acquire a new way of managing and leading, and leave the old ways behind.”

In my 20+ year career in business and human resources, I have coached and trained literally thousands of leaders.  Even the shining stars — when they stepped into their next, bigger role — had to unlearn old skills/behaviors that once helped them succeed but now could sabotage them.  As the old saying goes, what got you here won’t get you there (e.g., the skills that made you top performer hitting your quarterly sales may make you a mediocre to bad performer as a leader responsible for an operating division with a 3-year strategy and plan for growth).

To grow your leadership capabilities, you need to ask yourself two questions to get to the next level or role you want:  What do I need to learn?  And what do I need to let go of? These can be hard questions to answer on your own (we can’t always see ourselves objectively or know what it is that we are missing/should know).  Leadership coaching brings assessment tools, research and best practices to help you customize a plan to get you where you want to go.

Executive coaching has become an accepted best practice in the field of leadership development.  My colleague Brian Underhill, Ph.D., outlines some of the reasons why in his book Executive Coaching for Results:

• The ever-increasing pace of change that forces organizations to develop leaders more quickly and more often on-the-job;
• An intensifying talent war to obtain and retain top leaders and performers; and
• The wide-spread use of 360-feedback which pushes leaders to cultivate their strengths and address their blind spots (critical, yet hard to do on one’s own).

Brian goes on to say that “many organizations are now making external coaching a high priority in their leadership development strategies.  Some are now five to ten years into an in-depth coaching implementation, serving hundreds – if not thousands – of their executives.”  These type of development programs for high-potential leaders (HIPOs) are where I spend much of my time as a coach and a trainer – including a Fortune 50 technology company and a Big 4 accounting firm.

As I said in my last post, coaching is a highly personalized, on-the-job development program that delivers real-time results that leaders can sustain over time. In terms of qualitative measures, these results show up in things like talent retention and improved job performance, including gains in: productivity, quality of work, customer service, work/life balance and job satisfaction.

The American Society for Training and Development (ASTD) estimates that large corporations spend over $2 billion a year on training.  Yet studies show repeatedly that the impact of traditional training can be notoriously short-lived due to: a) a lack of transference into the “real world”; b) a lack of reinforcement on-the-job; and/or c) a one-size-fits all approach.  So much of that spending literally never sees the light of day.

While attempts to quantify the ROI of coaching are still in their infancy, at least two studies found that the return on executive coaching is, on average, 5-6 times the dollar amount invested in coaching.  As great as that financial return can be for the company, the return for an individual leader is equally as powerful.   And sustainable – the leader carries these benefits forward, wherever they go in their work and their life.

Leadership coaching is coaching is a highly personalized, on-the-job development program that delivers real-time results that leaders can sustain over time. In my next few postings I’ll talk about how coaching as a best practice in leadership development and share with the ROI (return on investment) for companies and for leaders, like you.

So what happens in coaching?  A leader and a coach agree to work together for a period of time (typically six months).  The leader, with help from the coach, prioritizes his/her goals:

• What does s/he need to learn and/or to change, to succeed in their current role?
• And then to move forward, to the next level or role in their career?

The leader and the coach puts together a plan and then meet (usually via phone) on regular basis to discuss progress being made, work through barriers, integrate best practices and reinforce learning/changes in behavior.

In my 10+ years as an executive coach, I have worked with leaders across the spectrum of requirements for executive maturity and peak performance, including helping them:

• Manage successful role transitions
• Accelerate their learning curve/ability to deliver results in the first 90 days of a new job
• Use 360 feedback to improve current job performance (leverage their strengths and minimize their weaknesses)
• Develop new leadership competencies and skills
• Increase their self-awareness and self-management
• Improve their interpersonal skills (e.g., ability to listen, communicate, etc.)
• Sustain their performance through better energy management and greater work/life balance

What kind of results/return on investment can you and your company expect from leadership coaching?  Read my next three posts to find out.

Since I was a kid, I have been obsessed with the spiritual dimension of human life – who are we?  Why are we here?  What is Divine and how do we find it?  I was raised Roman Catholic and attended Catholic schools from grade school through college.  But thanks in large part to the Jesuits who taught me during my four years at Loyola University of New Orleans, my mind opened up to learn about many other spiritual traditions as well.

In particular, I’ve found tremendous value in the beliefs and practices of Zen Buddhism.  Not as a replacement “religion” for Catholicism or any other “ism” –  but rather as very practical and simple wisdom for how to lead a successful human life.  I’ve been meditating since my mid-twenties, when I took my first meditation/yoga class to help me deal with the stress of graduate school.  Since then I’ve: invested regularly in many more classes/training/retreats; read more books than I can count on Buddhism and mindfulness; and am part of a Buddhist here in my home town.

I tell you all this because, if you become a regular reader of this blog, you’re going to hear me talk about mindfulness A LOT.  Mindfulness is awareness – a very powerful form of awareness that comes from being fully present to the moments of your work and life.  (While meditation is just one technique to get you there, mindfulness is the end game.)  In terms of business/work/career, mindfulness helps you to see clearly what is present and to know with certainty what choice to make or action to take.  In terms of life, mindfulness is the best way I’ve found to live deeply and happy, every moment.  The path of mindfulness has been my route to professional success and work/life balance.  There is no bigger, better gift I could hope to share with you.

Seven years ago, at the time of my work/life breakdown the only coping strategy I had was to try to do more, do it faster, and more efficiently. Until I tried something else.

I tried an experiment.  I gave myself the one break I thought I could manage – 30 minutes for a quiet cup of coffee at a Starbucks, early on a Sunday morning.  I took a book, just planning to read and unwind a bit.  Nearly an hour later, I hadn’t read a page.  I found myself sitting there, reflecting on my life.  Surprisingly I wasn’t worrying or freaking out or feeling overwhelmed.  I was just thinking about what was going on and what I wanted, going forward.

I started to look ahead to the week to come and think about what I could try to do a little differently.  I realized that, as crazy and stressful as things had been across the past weeks and months, that things actually were a bit calmer in this present moment.  And that I had  (in the coming weeks) a window or two of opportunity to deal with some outstanding issues, and to get out ahead of some things.  But I literally hadn’t seen those windows — until this very moment — because I’d been too worried, afraid and stressed out to notice them.

I had a physical sense of relief when I walked out of Starbucks that morning.  And my week that followed was the calmest, most productive and most energized week I had had in many, many months.  Not perfect, but noticeably better.

So I found it a bit easier to grant the self-permission I needed to make another Starbucks date with myself, the following Sunday.  I kept making those dates, for many Sundays after that.  Over time, I found it easier to carve out even more time for me — to rest, recharge, refocus and re-engage my best self — because I saw living proof of how it made me mentally sharper, emotionally happier and physically more energized to deal with my crazy-busy life.

Especially for the mothers who may be reading this posting, I need to add one last piece of this story.  I turned off my phone and did not even bring my laptop for that time at Starbucks.  I completely unplugged for a little quiet time for me.  And nobody died, literally.  I took a small chance, a calculated risk that I wouldn’t be there for two of the people I loved most when they needed me.  Not only was I there to say goodbye to my dad when his time came, but my daughter is now a thriving and confident 22-year-old, college senior.  Just as important, I’m still here too and doing more than well – the proof in the pudding.

I’ve learned a lot about my own thinking processes, the mechanics of the brain, and the wisdom of  most ancient spiritual traditions when it comes to rest and play.  I know there’s so much more that’s possible and needed in terms of work/life balance in our 24/7, global world.  Bottom line — mindfulness is a big part of the story I have left to tell.

About 3 years after my wedding – there is no other way to put this — all hell broke loose.  On the upside, our leadership coaching and training business was booming.  We were growing in staff, clients and revenue every year.  On the down side, I was full-throttle back into over-work mode:  travelling constantly to work with clients, co-authoring a book, and trying to co-lead a firm while realizing that my business partner and I had fundamentally different strategies and approaches.   My work — once a source of fun and fulfillment — was a now place of growing conflict and stress.

On a personal note, my husband’s company came within a hair’s breadth of laying him off, three different times within an 18 month period.  My father was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.  And my husband and I were struggling to address and heal my younger daughter’s life-threatening depression.

I was working like a mad woman, day and night, and on the road constantly for business and to help care for my father down in Atlanta.  My nights and weekends were filled with parenting and household responsibilities.  As a result, I was so consumed by my list of to-do’s, and my fears of forgetting something or dropping the ball on something (or someone) important, that I literally never took a break.  I was running on fumes for the second time in my life, with little sleep, no exercise, and almost non-existent play time with friends or quiet time alone with myself.

Long story short, the breakdowns started fast and furious – in my business partnership, my personal relationships, my own health, and in my ability to focus mentally and sustain the energy physically required to deal with everything on my plate.  Bottom line, my attempt to take care of everyone but me completely backfired; the world I carried on my shoulders was literally more than I could control, or even multi-task my way through.

While the circumstances around my lack of balance were different this time, I began to realize that the constant in this equation was me.  I knew something had to change, and the only thing I had control over was truly my own choices and actions.  (I certainly couldn’t control my dad’s cancer, nor my daughter’s depression, and clearly not my business partner.)   I could keep falling apart or I could do this differently — not only for my own health and happiness, but so I could be there for the ones I loved the most.  So I did the only thing I knew to do…

Toward the end of 1999, my employer The Coca-Cola Company held layoffs for the first time in the company’s 100+ year history.  At the time, my career was flying high.  I was part of an internal, elite group of executive coaches and consultants doing cutting edge work – using organizational learning to create competitive advantage in the marketplace.  I was increasingly being sent to work with senior executives overseas on the business, and receiving top reviews from my bosses and my customers alike.  And then, suddenly, the gig was up.

The CEO at the time was ousted – bad for him and bad for me.  My department had been created as one of his key strategic initiatives and, despite our many successes, the new CEO wanted nothing to do with us.  We were all out of a job, literally.  I learned a really important lesson then about the new reality of work and jobs in the 21st century:  no matter how good you are or how well you perform, no job is guaranteed. All work is in fact project work.

Luckily I had been working with an executive coach for the better part of a year, to get clear on what I truly wanted in my life and my career.  So I literally took the severance money and ran. I headed toward the 3 things I knew for sure:  a) I wanted to take a six-month sabbatical to recharge my mind, body and spirit; b) I wanted to start my own business; and c) I wanted to get married and have a family.

Fast forward eighteen months – I’m in a wedding dress, standing in a beautiful, old building on the campus of the University of Michigan.  My husband Kevin and my two, wonderful new stepdaughters are hugging me.  My best friend and now business partner is smiling in the front row.  And I’m fit, relaxed, rested and healthy after my six-month sabbatical (which is how/when/where my new business and my new husband showed up in my life).

I was truly out of the pan, jumping into the fire – the fire of self-employment, marriage, and parenthood. It was a blaze that felt good, warm and fully alive.  I was charged up and ready for whatever work and life would bring.  Did I mention to be careful what you wish for??

My story begins much like every other, Type-A personality’s story.  A perennial straight A student and over-achiever, by the time I was 24 I had my master’s from an Ivy League school and launched my career.  Like many of you, I eventually became a corporate HIPO (high-potential leader) targeted for advancement and future leadership roles.  Working inside of global companies like The Coca-Cola Company and Ernst & Young (Big 4 consulting), I spent 12 years climbing the corporate ladder.  I never said “no” to an opportunity – at Coca-Cola alone, I had 3 major promotions in 3 years.  I worked my tail off, including many nights and weekends, travelled constantly and seldom took more than a week of vacation a year.  The work was fascinating and the professional and financial rewards were great.  I had wonderful colleagues and I was challenged intellectually and learning and growing, every day.

But the picture was far from perfect.  After years of working this way, I was often sick and physically exhausted.  I was also really lonely.  I had had little time for dating and for friendships outside of work.  As seductive and rewarding as my career was, it wasn’t fulfilling me as a person and as a woman.  I wanted a husband, home and a family.  I also started having dreams of running my own business, and working/living from a more balanced and sustainable rhythm.

Be careful what you wish for….